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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26145337">The Unexpected Byproducts of Shapeshifting</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/oswinosgoodsscarf/pseuds/oswinosgoodsscarf'>oswinosgoodsscarf</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Shapeshifty household demon [2]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Beetlejuice - All Media Types, Beetlejuice - Perfect/Brown &amp; King</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Attempts at Healthy Communication, Gen, Lesbian Lydia Deetz, Shapeshifting, just some family shenanigans</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-08-27</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-08-27</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 11:16:11</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,342</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/26145337</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/oswinosgoodsscarf/pseuds/oswinosgoodsscarf</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>As previously established, Beetlejuice sometimes likes to hide as an inanimate object.<br/>Sometimes the others misjudge when that happens.<br/>Or: three times people thought they were talking to Beej (but weren't), and the one time they didn't (but were).</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Beetlejuice &amp; Charles Deetz &amp; Delia Deetz &amp; Lydia Deetz &amp; Adam Maitland &amp; Barbara Maitland, i supposed there is implied beetlelands but imo it can also be read as platonic</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Shapeshifty household demon [2]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1898524</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>18</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>82</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>The Unexpected Byproducts of Shapeshifting</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>I didn't plan on a sequel, but a lovely commentor got the gears turning. (This was also supposed to be in a 5+1 format, but shit got in the way and I just want this up.)</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Barbara stood, hands on her hips, staring down the striped pillow that adorned the rocking chair in the living room and sighed.</p>
<p>"Beetlejuice, I know you're still feeling... emotional from our argument, but <em>hiding</em> isn't going to solve anything! You've been talking to Delia and Lydia about actually talking through your emotions and mental spirals, right? It would mean a lot to me if you would use those techniques sometimes-"</p>
<p>The front door opened and Beetlejuice walked in, carrying a pot of soil and a packet of seeds. He stared at Barbara trying to intimidate a pillow into healthy communication as she turned red.</p>
<p>"Beetlejuice! But.... I thought-" Barbara glanced at the pillow sheepishly, "-Never mind! What did you want to say?"</p>
<p>He shuffled awkwardly before shoving everything into Barbara's arms. "Uh.. here! I asked Miss A for tips on how to apologize to you guys but she said cocaine and nether you or Adam strike me as the kind to want drugs so I figured that I could just give you some new plants to make up for the one I broke and this packet doesn't look like the plant on the front but I'm sure you can figure that out and I’ll find Adam and give him his wood oil ok bye-"</p>
<p>His ramblings were broken as Barbara grabbed Beetlejuice's wrist and smiled at him.</p>
<p>"Aw, thank you! You're right, I... appreciate the plants more than I would drugs. How thoughtful of you!"</p>
<p>She patted Beetlejuice's hand before letting go again, shifting the gifts into a more comfortable position, "And I accept your apology, too. Can we work on making sure it doesn't come to this next time?"</p>
<p>Beetlejuice nodded, tugging at the cuff of his sleeves before gesturing vaguely at the couch for the two of them to sit, visibly steeling himself for an emotional talk (the fact that he wasn't running made Barbara beam with pride).</p>
<hr/>
<p>His eyes burned, but Charles refused to blink. Somehow, the sight of demons, ghosts, hell and sandworms could not compare to the horror sitting on the fireplace mantle. Honestly Charles was impressed: in his opinion, Beetlejuice had outdone himself on the subtle creep factor with another creative use of his shape-shifting. However, detached approval was quickly being replace by a pervasive feeling of dread. He wriggled further into the sofa in an attempt to relax. The dead, empty eyes of the porcelain doll continued to bore into his soul and a prickling of unease set in. The unease had been undisturbed by any attempts to savor coffee, read or take a nap, which had ended in Charles giving up on any pretenses and ending in the current charade of staring.</p>
<p>"Ok, you've made your point. Now <em>please</em>- Cut. It . Out."</p>
<p>The doll did not move (a bonus) or shape-shift into the household demon (not a bonus). Charles wondered, vaguely, if this was to be his fate for eternity. Delia walked in, books in hand, humming a jaunty tune. She paused on her way to the bookshelf to kiss Charles on the cheek, briefly pulling him out of his daze. Following Charles gaze, Delia's face lit up.</p>
<p>"Oh! You've noticed my newest find! I found her at a thrift store. Isn't she such a charming mantelpiece?"</p>
<p>Now.</p>
<p>This... thing may have been the creepiest sight of Charles' life, but this was wife staring up at him in joy. There was only one thing he <em>could</em> say.</p>
<p>"It sure is a real eye-catcher, sweetheart. For unrelated reasons, let's go make a- snack, yes!"</p>
<p>Safely away from dead, painted eyes, the kiss he initiated to deflect any of Delia's suspicion soon made him forget about the monstrosity perched above the fireplace, waiting for them to re-emerge (much) later. (When he heard that Beetlejuice had eaten the thing, Charles made sure to slip him some extra bugs to snack on. He wouldn't dare belittle his wife's passions, but he really didn't think that he could sleep under the same roof as that thing. He was just glad he didn't have to say as much to Delia. The snacks immediately stopped, however, once Beetlejuice decided a <em>fun prank</em> would be to constantly scare Charles by taking that doll as his shape. Bans on movies and spray bottles had to be used in order to restore relative calm).</p>
<hr/>
<p>Lydia squinted at the beetle resting on her windowsill.</p>
<p>"You little bitch!" The beetle did not budge from its perch on the windowsill. "You cannot just get out of this. You always talk about how awesome the black plague was, so you have to help me with this worksheet!" The beetle continued to stay stationary, unmoved by her pleas. Lydia growled, turning and stomping over to Delia's office to try finding an ally in her plight.</p>
<p>"Delia! I know you said to not bug you during meditations but I need you to tell Beej to cut the-"</p>
<p>The sight that greeted her made Lydia forget what she was going to say. Because while she had vaguely known that Delia and Beetlejuice spent a surprising amount of time together, and that those times sometimes coincided with her step-moms' meditation sessions, she had never thought that that meant he actually <em>participated</em> in any of them. But there they were, two yoga mats spread out on the floor, faint harp music accompanying twin stares pinning the teen in place.</p>
<p>"Uh."</p>
<p>"Did you want something, Lydia? If its something that could wait a few more minutes, i'd like to wrap this up properly." Delia did not seem to see the strangeness inherent in Beetlejuice Lawrence Shoggoth sitting even remotely still, and Lydia did not have the wherewithal to try and explain.</p>
<p>"You know what? Sure, whatever. When you two are done... sitting, I need to borrow Beej." At this, the demon visibly perked up.</p>
<p>"Black Plague?!"</p>
<p>Lydia nodded, grinning at his suddenly neon green hair.</p>
<p>"Later then." She shook her head as she closed the door. Beetlejuice doing yoga; will wonders never cease.</p>
<hr/>
<p>"I know you might not care about this, and just think it's dumb breather shit but I have something to tel you, Beej, that's really important to me. And if you uh, have any questions, or- OK, you won't have any questions, you're hitting on anyone anywhere on the gender spectrum but- I'm-"</p>
<p>Lydia buried her head in her hands and screamed in frustration. Clearly, using her plushie spider to practice</p>
<p>"God, why is this so hard?? It's one word: lesbian. Or, well, three words for context. I'm a lesbian! I like girls! WHY is saying it to someone else feel so impossible???"</p>
<p>Taking a deep breath, she squared her shoulders and stared at the spider toy.</p>
<p>"He is not going to hate me, this is going to go just fine, he probably won't even care. So I'm just going to march up to him and say it. Yeah. OK. Roof, me, him, now."</p>
<p>Another fortifying breath and she stomped out of the room, the encroaching fear <strike>he'll react like your old friends reacted, he'll hate you and laugh at you and say you're disgusting</strike> being shoved down in favor of aggressive determination.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Beetlejuice stayed frozen for a moment before shedding the form of the spider plush, springing into action. He ran into the living room where the other adults were, and startling them by dragging Delia into the study. There, an impromptu and vague description of his problem sparked a rushed conversation about "Remember how we talked about open communication?" and "You can so show emotional support, you've validated my feelings in the past!" and "Whatever you are going to discuss, Lydia knows you, I'm sure she'll see you're being there for her."</p>
<p>Reassurances doled out, a newly determined Beetlejuice rushed to the roof, and a confused Delia walked back into the living-room, unable to give her bewildered family any more answers than they themselves had.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>They found out in their own time why they found the pair hugging it out on the roof later, both suspiciously teary and laughing.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Thank you for reading! I hope you enjoyed; if you did, kudos and/or comments are always welcome!</p></blockquote></div></div>
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